| My promise to LiveJournal: I still care about you. |
[Mar. 26th, 2007|02:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  complacent | ] |
Dear Journal,
I have decided that I want to write a little bit about my life at least once a week, hopefully twice. It would be nice to have a little online record of my adventures here on Earth - mostly the significant events - but the minor ones would be nice as well.
So hopefully I will keep this up for several months (or even years) and not just crap out after a couple weeks. Only time will tell.
But right now I'm busy at work so I don't have time to write anything good.
This is just the "I swear I'm going to start posting in LiveJournal again!" entry. We'll see!
Yours Truly,
~Tony |
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| Name That Earth Song! |
[Jun. 2nd, 2006|05:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Cream - Sunshine of Your Love | ] |
Finally, the Internet has a purpose! Experience the joy everbody's been talking about.
~Tony |
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| Maps are awesome. |
[Nov. 6th, 2005|05:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "One on One" by Hall & Oates | ] |
Enter your LJ username below, enter the requested info on the next page, then on the map click your continent/country, zoom in (at the bottom, x2 or x4), and click on the map the location where you primarily reside.
Recommended Music of This Entry: Hall & Oates
In my humble yet usually wise opinion, Hall & Oates are underrated and overly made fun of [let alone widely unknown], especially considering they are the #1 selling musical duo..... of all tiiiiiiime! My favorite songs by them are Sara Smile, She's Gone, Private Eyes, Kiss on My List, Rich Girl and Say It Isn't So. Probably their most famous song is Maneater. Listening to almost all of Hall & Oates' greatest hits you'll hear a soothing, satisfying & atmospheric sound, hypnotic yet relaxing, upbeat yet slowly sensual. |
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| We've finally found as many planets in our Solar System as we have fingers. |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|09:15 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  creative | ] |
Headline Ticker Reads: Tenth Planet Found, Only Four Nerds Found Masturbating in Celebration
I just read that scientists recently discovered a 10th planet (article here). They first photographed it in 2003 but it was so small that they didn't have images that captured its motion until July 2005. Right now it's temporarily named 2003 UB313. Committees are currently finding a new, permanent name for it. Scientists aren't sure exactly how big it is (because it's so far away, reflects little light and they aren't sure whether it reflects that amount of light because it is highly reflective, large in size, or some combination of both), but they do know that it is larger than Pluto (but not much larger). That's not saying much, as Pluto is pretty tiny (if you placed Pluto on top of the contiguous 48 United States it would cover about half of them).
At first I was surprised that this didn't make much news. Then I remembered that no one cares much about space anymore. When Pluto was discovered in 1930 there was a lot more fuss about it, same with the other planets' discoveries. There may be many more of these little icy planets in our solar system (tens, hundreds, thousands) that haven't been discovered yet, because they are too tiny. I doubt anyone will really care in the future when more are found. But I do think eventually they'll have to update all those schoolroom diagrams of the Solar System (which are terribly off scale, due to the limiting size of classrooms).
Some astronomers used to theorize that there was an extremely large 10th planet, Planet X. They thought this because it appears as though some large object's gravitational force is pulling on Pluto, perturbing its orbit. There still could exist a Planet X, but it would obviously be the 11th planet now.
Recommended Music of this Entry: "Drive" by the Cars (it took me a year to realize the pun in the title and artist of this song. It's one of my top 3 favorite slow love songs of all time)
[just as another reminder, most of my entries are Friends-only so my acquaintances can't read all the nasty shit I write about them, so if you want to read them all you'll have to ask.... for my LiveJournal Friendship (awwww) -- and I'm just kidding about writing nasty shit about my acquaintances! I write it about family and friends]. |
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| Messing with your brain. |
[Oct. 25th, 2005|08:49 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Harden My Heart" by Quarterflash | ] |
First, try following the rotating dot around the circle with just your eyes. Then try staring only at the black crosshair in the center. (Stare directly at it and concentrate for 10+ seconds). 
Try it again. Then try it a third time. Suddenly rabid ponies will appear to jump out of your screen and dust you in a thick cloud of rich, powdery cocaine. Stare at it for 3 minutes straight and pink and green goo will burst out of your eyes! [Note that there is no green in the image, your brain creates it].
Thanks to Deanna (pronounced like the female form of "Dino" - the pet dinosaur on The Flintstones) for the link! |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 21st, 2005|08:54 am] |
Help!
I don't know what to be for Halloween. I don't have a lot to work with (in terms of costume material). I don't have a lot of money. I don't even have a party lined up to go to.
I want my costume to be more funny than scary.
I don't want to use my imagination, I want someone else to use it for me.
Any suggestions? |
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| Just a reminder... |
[Oct. 12th, 2005|07:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pizza on the way! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Dust in the Wind" by Boston | ] |
I made my last several entries viewable only by people on my Friends list, and I'll probably continue to make future entries Friends-only. So if you've been reading but not leaving comments and you're not on my Friends list (but I'm on yours), leave a comment here (soon) and I'll try to add you. |
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| Last Update Ever! |
[May. 27th, 2004|11:50 am] |
I've decided that working on my new website, HUGRap.com, is more important than updating this LiveJournal. So this will be my last, and worst!, entry. It was mostly fun while it lasted but it has worn out its welcome. :)
~Tony |
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| Tony's Quest for Smarterness |
[May. 16th, 2004|02:53 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Private Eyes" by Hall & Oates | ] |
Over the last few years I've come to realize that some people are douchebags. And maybe not everyone thinks of the word "douchebag" the same way I do, so I'll explain further.
Let's take your job for example. [If you don't have one, then you can consider school]. The workplace is a special situation where several people come together and do something they don't want to do. Of course, some people like their job. And some jobs are so cool that everyone likes doing them (eg. quality control analysis for strip clubs). But for the most part, people don't want to be at work.
(Although, they really do want to be there. They want their paycheck. They want a roof over their head, walls around them, a floor beneath their feet, a bed directly beneath their body, covers directly over them, a pillow under their head, lotion sitting next to them on the bed, a box of tissues on the nightstand next to the Marilyn Monroe talking alarm clock and the June 1994 issue of Tight magazine).
And so when -some- people don't want to be at work, they become grumpy. And grumpy people suck, of course. People who don't understand that they:
(1) -chose- to have a job, and
(2) are choosing to be negative whinyheads,
well those people are just bad people. I don't mean bad in the objective sense. I just mean that from your own perspective, your own tunnel vision of the world, (in your own little head), they are bad news. They are the people of whom you steer clear.
What's the solution? Well the easy one is to become that stripper evaluator. But for most people who want to keep their current job, I think I have a better solution. [<-- when I wrote that sentence, I didn't have a better solution. I thought I'd come up with one. But I didn't. So I'll just have to give you my best advice].
I always try to look at the world as though I'm some alien scientist from a highly sophisticated and advanced planet, thousands of years more evolved than Earth. So sometimes I'm sitting in my spaceship at the edge of Earth's atmosphere, chuckling at the miniscule problems of the idiot Earthlings. Even my own problems I try to laugh off sometimes. "How could I be such a petty, sensitive, whiny little schmuck?" Or if someone's being a jerkhead to me, I'll go into alien scientist mode and tell my normal-human-self, "First of all, in one month this negative interaction will mean nothing to you. Also, how does his/her opinion affect you at all, or carry any significance to you?" My alien-scientist-self is my own little personality coach, reminding me that I don't want to spend any minute of my life being unnecessarily upset or frustrated or angry or annoyed or embarassed or fearful. And he's not an arrogant alien, even if he might seem it. He just is wise enough to know that being happy, positive and completely satisfied with your life, mood, day, environment, people you associate with, etc -- is a conscious choice that you actively make inside your brain every day or every hour or every event of your life. He knows that being a cranky little bitch is not the result of the world pissing on you and laughing at you and making fun of you. He knows you're not a helpless victim and he knows not to take any of your pathetic excuses. And he can be YOUR alien scientist personality coach for only $295 a month!!! Imagine, the freedom of knowing when to become happy, knowing how to deal with conflict in your day-to-day life. He's a personal trainer for the muscles... of your psyche.
Unfortunately, he is not available to me every minute of the day. And even when he is, sometimes he is ineffective. That is, sometimes I can't deal with the little problems in my life, or sometimes I deal with them very poorly. But I guess that's just a part of getting older and becoming a niftier person.
~Tony |
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| My Coachella 2004 Road Trip - Part X: The Pictures |
[May. 12th, 2004|11:12 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pleased | ] |
My Coachella 2004 Story!
Part X: The Pictures
As you should know, Clint and I drove down to California for the 2004 Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival (and for the road trip and Southern California vacation). We met up with some friends/new friends, camped, drank, saw bands play great music, drove there/back, etc. Here are some of the pictures we took. I used a disposable camera and then scanned them onto a computer, so the quality isn't top-notch. But the fun and memories which will last 10 years were the toppest notch I have ever notchified.
Slideshow of all my Coachella pictures.
(unfortunately LiveJournal won't let me put the slideshow right here - someone complain for me!)
And coming soon, Part 3: The Actual Festival Itself!
~Tony |
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| Coachella Music Festival Story Part 2 |
[May. 4th, 2004|10:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Basement Jaxx - Get Me Off | ] |
My Coachella 2004 Story!
Part 2: The Drive Back
Clint and I drove down to California (see previous entry), we camped there for 3 nights with some friends, then drove back. This is the story of the trip back to Portland.
Sometimes I Rap Too Hard (Monday, May 3rd, 2004 to Tuesday)
I'm back in Portland. We got here at around 9am, and we left Coachella at 11am the previous day. So it took 20 hours to drive back and only 16 hours to get there. I shall tell you the reason for that now.
The three friends with whom we camped drove back with us. (Three of their friends also camped with us, but drove back ahead of us). Then in Pasadena we switched two people around to different cars for shits, giggles and fraggle rock. Several hours later we got separated, and our cell phone died so we couldn't meet up. Around 6pm in northern CA we were doing around 90mph on I-5 (some times everyone on the freeway drives 90, even semis and minivans!) -- and at the same time we were hardcore underground rapping -- and we rapped so hard that the tire exploded. Some people think that the extreme heat and high speeds caused it to just fuck itself up and become flat, but they sadly don't believe in the power of rap. Anyway, it took us 2-3 hours to put on the spare, drive 55mph to Bakersfield, find a place that would fix it right away instead of in 1.5 hours, get gas/food/drinks and get back on the freeway.
Stopped by a Cop (Tuesday)
Several hours after the flat tire incident, we pulled into a gas station. I couldn't find my wallet, which was our only source of money. A cop pulled in behind us -- with his police car red blue you're-in-trouble lights off -- then he shined his bright spotlight in my rear window. We started to get out of the car to pump gas and he said "Can you stay in the car please." I thought to myself "Oh gosh darn geewilliger fucking shit, what did we do wrong?"
He came up to my window and said "Let me tell you why I'm stopping you first. A car matching this description was reported to be involved in a home burglary incident."
I said "A blue Kia Spectra?"
He said "It was purple, but I couldn't tell what color yours is. And you guys don't match the description of the suspects."
I said "Man you made me nervous!"
He said "Yeah don't worry I just had to stop you and make sure."
I said "Hope you go catch them!"
That cop was so awesome! He was nice, and not on a power trip at all, and he was completely friendly. I guess that's because we hadn't done anything illegal. I'm usually used to talking to cops after committing crimes or almost committing a crime or doing something that people think should be a crime (ie. Michigan story).
(P.S. Right after the cop left I found my wallet! Yay!)
Next time I have an hour or two free I'll write about the actual camping and festival itself. Also, I'll soon [hopefully] have mp3s of the rap songs we did while driving there and back.
~Tony |
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| Southern California has more hispanics than Hispania. |
[Apr. 30th, 2004|07:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | palm trees in the wind biotch! | ] |
My Coachella 2004 Story!
Part 1: Getting to Los Angeles
I'm in Los Angeles with Clint -- I'm so excited and I just can't hide it! I actually think I'm going to lose control and I just might like it. And by lose control I mean of my bowels.
We're here with some friends.... well, like, pseudo friends. You know, the kind you meet at a party and see here & there. But then they turn you into a pothead and laugh in your face because you're a loser. Actually that's not true at all.
Clint and I drove down here, we left Portland at around 4am and got to L.A. at around 6:30pm. Even with seven-lane freeways they still have craploads of traffic. But we just blast up Michael Jackson and rap to people with their windows down.
We recorded some stuff in the car and hopefully we'll record some stuff on the way back and hopefully I'll put it on the net.
~Tony |
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| New job (kinda) and website coming hopefully maybe |
[Apr. 22nd, 2004|05:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Dreamer" by Supertramp | ] |
I'm 99% sure that I got the job at a different Domino's. It's on Capital Hwy. in Mt. Park (near the intersection of Capital and Barbur). Hopefully I'll be delivering to rich hot lonely women in their 30s who have always had the pizza delivery boy fantasy. You know the one -- where she gives the pizza boy a $20 tip then lets him quickly have sex with her 18-year-old daughter in the broom closet before Mr. Mitchell comes home. Also, I should be making many more deliveries per hour because I don't have to go up and down any elevators (which is the worst time-waster in downtown). And parking is much easier, traffic is lighter, there are no secured buildings to worry about, people are richer (sorry to the poor - but I'm one of you and I don't want to be). And more deliveries equals more tips and more tips equals more money and more money equals less poorness.
I am thinking of starting the website HUGRap.com, which, of course, stands for Hardcore Underground Gangsta Rap (dot com). I made a little template to see kinda what it would/should look like. It's now at philandtony.com/hugrap.
I think only the first link works. The rest are just there for appearances. I should be updating it soon.
~Tony |
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| Tony's Random Sentence Generator (in its early stages) |
[Apr. 17th, 2004|08:27 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pleased | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "California Dreamin'" by The Mamas and The Papas | ] |
About four years ago, (or maybe five or three, I have a bad long term memory), I made a random sentence generator. It used several lists of words to come up with random sentences. And because I was an immature teenager, I used scatological [potty mouth!] words. At the time, many of the sentences were quite hilarious to me and my online buddies. Unfortunately, I lost that sentence generator, so I thought I'd make a new one. This time, I made it a website so everyone can use it... yay! And this time, because I'm 21 and much more mature, I decided to use even more toilet humor in the word lists!
Here's the link: http://www.philandtony.com/random
I'd like to add more words and more types of sentences (currently there is only one kind of sentence structure). Also, right now the sentences come out grammatically correct, but they don't always make much sense. Although, I guess that's what makes some of them kinda funny.
~Tony
P.S. I made two new songs. They were both supposed to be scary. And I only spent about an hour on each so they aren't monumental or anything.
The first is called "Scary EPiano Song That Gets Faster and Faster" (which starts out decent then becomes more and more crappy towards the end as I lost the patience to carefully place each note).
The second is called "Fuckin Awesome Basketball Song" because to me it sounded somewhat like the songs they play towards the end of basketball games. |
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| White Chipmunk Rapping Part 1 |
[Apr. 14th, 2004|09:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Love Fool" by the Cardigans | ] |
I know a couple of chipmunks. They are white and they like to rap. I recorded them freestyle rapping to a beat that they made. That means that they wrote a beat, then they started rapping to it, making up all the words and rhymes on the spot. Nothing was written out. That's why it's not really great.
But it's entertaining because they are pretty good!
White Chipmunk Rap - Spongebob and Rough Sex.mp3 (1.9MB / 4:07)
(Warning: Contains explicit lyrics, including bad words!!)
If you have sound wave editing software, and you change the speed by 67%, they sound exactly like humans. In fact they sound a lot like me and a friend of mine. But they are really chipmunks!!
~Tony |
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| Attack of the Harmless Bird |
[Apr. 5th, 2004|09:12 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | A rap song I made up -- in my head! | ] |
I suddenly realized that I don't need to put tons of thought into writing an entry, that I don't need to have a brilliant idea about which to write, that I don't need to spend lots of energy entertaining only handful of people, just to make this journal worthwhile. It came to me, an epiphany wrapped in a dream, filled with the sweet, tangy sauce of discovery, sitting next to a cup full of warm, welcome, sparkling realization. Then I ate that epiphany and I drank that realization. I was full and decided to write the most thought-filled, brilliant idea-inspired, energetically driven entry. When I was done, my computer crashed and I lost it. So you'll have to read the following entry that I spewed out in 20 minutes.
I was delivering a pizza inside an apartment building the other day. After I got the money and the customer closed the door, a door down the hall opened and a small blue bird (a bird that's blue, not a bluebird) came flying out. I thought to myself, interesting, someone's bird escaped from its owner's enslavement and is trying to escape [I'm not a big fan of owning pets]. The next thing I thought was, Oh shit, this bird is flying right at my head, for it was. So I ducked, and it whizzed right past me. Its owner, a good looking Spanish woman in her early twenties, came out with a half-worried half-sorry look on her face. The bird stopped, turned around, and flew right back at me. This time its aim was spot-on, and it hit me right in the side. Anyone who has known me for more than a couple months probably knows what I did. I freaked out like a little girl. I don't want birds hitting me, even if they are harmless little creatures. I unfortunately picked up this trait from my mother. So the woman, seeing my unfounded fear, tried to calm me down (and the bird at the same time): "Come here Yave, no Yave! [to the bird] It's okay, don't worry, I'm sorry [to me]." This is where it gets even more strange, and unfortunately more unbelievable to the skeptical person (I wish I had videotaped this, but you'll just have to trust me). The bird made another pass at me, and this time it landed right on my back. I could do nothing but stand there and wait, for I wasn't in the mood to reach around and grab it off me, and I wasn't in the mood to drive back to Domino's with a bird on my back. I could've called myself the Pizza Pirate, but my boss wouldn't enjoy that too much. Here's where the story took a little turn for the better, a little turn for the sexier. I was kind of bending over to keep this bird on my back (don't ask me why I didn't just stand straight up and try to get it to fall off me -- maybe I didn't want it flying around and attacking me anymore). She was standing right in front of me, trying to get little Yave off me. So now I was staring right at the midriff section of this attractive Spanish chick -- attractive even if she did own a violent killer bird. I cared a little less that Yave was chillin' out on my back. Then she said "Hold on a second" and she started to take off her jacket. I thought quickly to myself, Her bird's being a little annoying piece of crap to me, I doubt she'll be offended and call my boss to complain if I hit on her in some perverted way, now that she's taking off her jacket. So I said to her, "Hey if you have to get naked to get this bird off me then go ahead!" She laughed, but unfortunately she only used the jacket to sweep the bird on the floor, then cover it up. She apologized again and I said it was okay, and that at least it's a good story to tell.
I got back to the store and told it to my boss, who is normally a quite serious-minded man of few words. He said "It pecked your face out didn't it? Yeah I can see it did, pecked that shit right out!" And, knowing my boss, that was a pretty funny thing to hear. Now I'm quitting and moving to a different store. [That's actually true, but for different reasons -- not because my boss said a bird pecked my face out].
~Tony |
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| Fun and Stuff |
[Mar. 27th, 2004|04:56 pm] |
Basketball and Partying: The Passions of Testosterone
For the last week or so I've had some semblance of an exciting life. It's neat.
I went to a Blazers-Clippers game on Wednesday (Mar 24 '04) with Matt N. My mom had won tickets from her company and gave them to me. They were pretty sweet, 14 rows up from courtside. So close, you could smell the Blazer dancers. Or maybe that was just Matt's perfume. The Blazers came from behind within the last 2 minutes to win the game in an exciting finish. We ate licorice and crackerjacks. We felt important.
Then afterwards Matt and I organized an emergency party at my house. That was cool, too. It was pretty small, 12 people total, but that's probably the best number for my place. We mostly played drinking games. I videotaped a little of it, and hopefully I'll find the will to upload it to the net soon so everyone can experience the fun and joy of getting drunk at my house!
Lock Your Car Doors Folks, Prohibition is Over
Last night (Fri Mar 24) at work I walked out of Domino's to make a couple of deliveries. I walked over to my car and saw some guy sitting in the driver's seat. He was wearing an expensive-looking white sweater, had short dark hair and slightly tan/olive-colored skin. He was slumped over, facing away from me. The first thing I thought was "Is this my car??" So I checked, and it was definitely mine. Then I thought "Maybe it's Clint [a friend I work with] playing some prank" (even though it didn't look at all like Clint). So I said "Hey" and he grunted and turned a bit and I saw it was just some strange guy, half passed out, half sleeping. So I went back in the store to my boss (this big bad-ass dude) and told him "Some guy is sleeping in my car, I think he's drunk." So he went out to my car, opened the door and said "Hey chief, you're in the wrong car." The guy fumbled around a lot to try to get out of the car. He finally opened the door, got out, and fell right into me and the car. Then he started walking away, stumbling and swerving quite a bit. My boss and I were just staring at him, half-frowning and half-smiling in puzzlement and amusement. The whole thing was odd and disconcerting, but I feel safe now with my new taser, pepper spray, and Ruffies immunity pills.
~Tony |
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| The Magic Hippy and the Leprechaun |
[Mar. 18th, 2004|07:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  giddy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Spiderman" by the Ramones | ] |
I just noticed that my journal updating has become sparse, and that worried me. But lately I haven't been feeling journally 'cause I was sick, and then I got pinkeye. [All my previous knowledge of pinkeye (aka conjunctivitis) came from South Park, so I feared that I'd start eating human flesh and sing love songs with black cooks, but it turned out to be a much more benign condition]. And now my life is pretty boring, so I have no interesting stories. So I'll make one up.
I was walking downtown the other day, quite cheerfully. Presently I happened upon a hippy. But this seemed to be an unusually sad-looking hippy. (Most hippies look happy on the outside, but are secretly depressed on the inside, because not very many other people are hippies, and so they feel lonely and always question their non-conformism). Normally I'd fantasize about spitting on the hippy and angrily challenge his audacity for not acting the way George Bush wants him to act. But I was in a particularly good mood. So I decided to Pretend-Befriend him, gain his confidence, then take advantage of him for money or drugs.
"Hey" I called.
"Hey" he replied, looking up at me wearily.
But then I chickened out and started walking away. Besides I felt like getting a burrito anyway.
About halfway through the burrito, I saw a piece of paper, fortune cookie paper size, wrapped around a chunk of chicken.
"Nasty!" I thought, and threw the burrito at a nearby tree. Now obviously I am too important of a person to waste my time getting a refund. The next part of the story I am not in, but I was told it later.
The burrito splattered against the tree trunk, fell down a secret little spider hole, and landed on a sleeping leprechaun's head. He discovered and read the piece of paper: "Wanted to spit on me ey? Too bad for you I'm a magic hippy, and this burrito is equipped with a spy camera. Sucker."
| 
I thought I looked especially contemplative in this picture, even though I was actually thinking about the next Pringle dipped in ranch I was about to eat. |
A minute after I threw the burrito, I noticed a commotion in the park blocks near PSU. I turned to see the hippy chasing a little green man amongst the trees and benches and garbage cans.
"Thought you could disguise yourself as a leprechaun ey?" the hippy yelled crazily.
But little did the hippy know, this leprechaun really was a real leprechaun. (For clarity's sake, his name is O'Tool and the hippy's name is Bogby). O'Tool cast a spell on Bogby which made him super sleepy. He awoke three days later in my house, with severe memory loss. I was nursing him back to health, spoon-feeding him scrumptious cream of potato soup. O'Tool was playing Nintendo 64 (Pilotwings!), and suddenly exclaimed,
"Dude! We should all start a band!"
"Totally" Bogby replied excitedly.
"Like maybe a Bjork tribute band!" I chimed in.
"We can call ourselves Spjork." Bogby exclaimed.
So that's how we started our band. |
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